The Project Gutenberg Ebook King Candaules &c., by Jean de La Fontaine #19 in our series by Jean de La Fontaine (The Tales and Novels) Copyright laws are changing all over the world. Be sure to check the copyright laws for your country before downloading or redistributing this or any other Project Gutenberg eBook. This header should be the first thing seen when viewing this Project Gutenberg file. Please do not remove it. Do not change or edit the header without written permission. Please read the "legal small print," and other information about the eBook and Project Gutenberg at the bottom of this file. Included is important information about your specific rights and restrictions in how the file may be used. You can also find out about how to make a donation to Project Gutenberg, and how to get involved. **Welcome To The World of Free Plain Vanilla Electronic Texts** **EBooks Readable By Both Humans and By Computers, Since 1971** *****These EBooks Were Prepared By Thousands of Volunteers***** Title: The Tales and Novels, v19: King Candaules &c. Author: Jean de La Fontaine Release Date: March, 2004 [EBook #5293] [Yes, we are more than one year ahead of schedule] [This file was first posted on June 21, 2002] Edition: 10 Language: English Character set encoding: ASCII *** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK TALES AND NOVELS OF FONTAINE, V19 *** This eBook was produced by David Widger [NOTE: There is a short list of bookmarks, or pointers, at the end of the file for those who may wish to sample the author's ideas before making an entire meal of them. D.W.] THE TALES AND NOVELS OF J. DE LA FONTAINE Volume 19. Contains: The Psalter King Candaules and the Doctor of Laws THE PSALTER ONCE more permit me, nuns, and this the last; I can't resist, whatever may have passed, But must relate, what often I've been told; Your tales of convent pranks are seldom cold; They have a grace that no where else we find, And, somehow, better seem to please designed. Another then we'll have, which three will make:-- Three did I say?-'tis four, or I mistake; Let's count them well:-The GARD'NER first, we'll name; Then comes the ABBESS, whose declining frame Required a youth, her malady to cure A story thought, perhaps, not over pure; And, as to SISTER JANE, who'd got a brat, I cannot fancy we should alter that. These are the whole, and four's a number round; You'll probably remark, 'tis strange I've found Such pleasure in detailing convent scenes:-- 'Tis not my whim, but TASTE, that thither leans: And, if you'd kept your breviary in view, 'Tis clear, you'd nothing had with this to do; We know, howe'er, 'tis not your fondest care; So, quickly to our hist'ry let's repair. A CHARMING youth would frequent visits pay, To nuns, whose convent near his dwelling lay; And, 'mong the sisters, one his person saw, Who, by her eyes, would fain attention draw; Smiles she bestowed, and other complaisance, But not a single step would he advance; By old and young he greatly was admired; Sighs burst around, but none his bosom fired. Fair Isabella solely got his love, A beauteous nun, and gentle as a dove, Till then a novice in the flow'ry chain, And envied doubly:--for her charms and swain. Their soft amours were watched with eagle-eye: No pleasure's free from care you may rely; In life each comfort coupled is with ill, And this to alter baffles all our skill. THE sister nuns so vigilant had been, One night when darkness overspread the scene; And all was proper mysteries to hide, Some words escaped her cell that doubts supplied, And other matters too were heard around, That in her breviary could not be found. 'Tis her gallant! said they: he's clearly caught; Alarm pervaded; swarms were quickly brought; Rage seemed to triumph; sentinels were placed; The abbess too must know they were disgraced. Away they hastened to convey surprise, And, thund'ring at her door, cried, madam rise, For sister Isabella, in her cell, Has got a man, which surely can't be well. YOU will observe, the dame was not at prayer, Nor yet absorbed in sleep, devoid of care, But with her then, this abbess had in bed Good parson John, by kindness thither led, A neighb'ring rector, confessor, and friend; She rose in haste the sisters to attend, And, seeking for her veil, with sense confused, The parson's breeches took for what she used, Which, in the dark, resembled what was worn By nuns for veils, and called (perhaps in scorn), Among themselves, their PSALTER, to express Familiarly, a common, awkward dress. WITH this new ornament, by way of veil, She sallied forth and heard the woeful tale. Then, irritated, she exclaimed with ire To see this wretched creature I desire, The devil's daughter, from her bold career, Who'll bring our convent to disgrace, I fear; But God forbid, I say, and with his leave, We'll all restore:--rebuke she shall receive. A chapter we will call:--the sisters came, And stood around to hear their pious dame. FAIR Isabella now the abbess sent, Who straight obeyed, and to her tears gave vent, Which overspread those lily cheeks and eyes, A roguish youth so lately held his prize. What! said the abbess: pretty scandal here, When in the house of God such things appear; Ashamed to death you ought to be, no doubt, Who brought you thither?--such we always scout. NOW Isabella, (--sister you must lose, Henceforth, that name to you we cannot use; The honour is too great,) in such a case, Pray are you sensible of your disgrace, And what's the punishment you'll undergo? Before to-morrow, this you'll fully know; Our institution chastisement decrees; Come speak, I say, we'll hear you if you please. POOR Isabella, with her sight on ground, Confused, till then had scarcely looked around, Now raised her eyes, and luckily perceived The breeches, which her fears in part relieved, And that the sisters, by surprise unnerved, As oft's the case, had never once observed. She courage took, and to the abbess said, There's something from the Psalter, on your head, That awkwardly hangs down; pray, madam, try To put it right, or 'twill be in your eye. 'TWAS knee-strings, worn, at times, by priests and beaux, For, more or less, all follow fashion's laws. This veil, no doubt, had very much the air Of those unmentionables parsons wear; And this the nun, to frolicking inclined, It seems had well impressed upon her mind. What, cried the abbess, dares she still to sneer? How great her insolence to laugh and jeer, When sins so heavily upon her rest, And ev'ry thing remains quite unconfessed. Upon my word, she'd be a saint decreed; My veil, young imp, your notice cannot need; 'Tis better think, you little hellish crow, What pains your soul must undergo below. THE mother abbess sermonized and fired, And seemed as if her tongue would ne'er be tired. Again the culprit said, your Psalter, pray, Good madam, haste to set the proper way; On which the sisters looked, both young and old THOSE 'gan to laugh, while THESE were heard to scold. OUR preacher, quite ashamed of what she'd done, Now lost her voice, and noticed not the nun; The murmur buzzed around, too well expressed, What thoughts the holy sisterhood possessed. At length the abbess said:--we've now not time To take the chapter's votes upon her crime; 'Twould make it late; let each to bed return, And, till to-morrow, we'll the case adjourn. No chapter met, howe'er, when morrow came; Another day arrived, and still the same; The sages of the convent thought it best, In fact, to let the mystick business rest. Much noise, perhaps, would hurt religion's cause, And, that considered, prudent 'twere to pause. Base envy made them Isabella hate, And dark suspicions to the abbess state. In short, unable by their schemes to get The morsel she'd so fortunately met, Each nun exerted all her art to find, What equally might satisfy the mind. Old friends were willingly received again; Her gallant our belle was suffered to retain; The rector and the abbess had their will; And, such their union, precepts to fulfill, That if a nun had none to give her bliss, To lend a friend was nothing thought amiss. KING CANDAULES AND THE DOCTOR OF LAWS IN life oft ills from self-imprudence spring; As proof, Candaules' story we will bring; In folly's scenes the king was truly great: His vassal, Gyges, had from him a bait, The like in gallantry was rarely known, And want of prudence never more was shown. MY friend, said he, you frequently have seen The beauteous face and features of the queen; But these are naught, believe me, to the rest, Which solely can be viewed when quite undressed. Some day I'll let you gratify your eyes; Without her knowledge I'll means devise; But on condition:--you'll remember well What you behold, to no one you will tell, In ev'ry step most cautiously proceed, And not your mind with silly wishes feed; No sort of pleasure surely I could take, To see vain passion you her lover make. You must propose, this charming form to view, As if mere marble, though to nature true; And I'm convinced you'll readily declare, Beyond nor art can reach, nor thought prepare; Just now I left her in the bath at ease: A judge you are, and shall the moment seize; Come, witness my felicity supreme; You know her beauties are my constant theme. AWAY they went, and Gyges much admired; Still more than that: in truth his breast was fired; For when she moved astonishment was great, And ev'ry grace upon her seemed to wait. Emotion to suppress howe'er he tried, Since he had promised what he felt to hide; To hold his tongue he wished, but that might raise Suspicions of designs and mystick ways. Exaggeration was the better part, And from the subject he would never start, But fully praised each beauty in detail, Without appearing any thing to veil. Gods! Gyges cried, how truly, king, you're blessed; The skin how fair--how charming all the rest! THIS am'rous conversation by the queen Was never heard, or she'd enraged have been; In ancient days of ignorance, we find, The sex, to show resentment, much inclined; In diff'rent light at present this appears, And fulsome praises ne'er offend their ears. OUR arch observer struggled with his sighs Those feelings much increased, so fair the prize: The prince, in doubt, conducted him away; But in his heart a hundred arrows lay; Each magick charm directed pointed darts; To flee were useless: LOVE such pain imparts, That nothing can at times obstruct its course; So quick the flight: so truly great the force. WHILE near the king, much caution Gyges showed; But soon the belle perceived his bosom glowed; She learned the cause:--her spouse the tale disclosed, And laughed and jeered, as he the facts exposed: A silly blockhead! not to know a queen Could raillery not bear on such a scene. But had it pleased her wishes, still 'twere right (Such honour's dictates) to discover spite; And this she truly did, while in her mind, To be revenged she fully was inclined. FOR once, good reader, I should wish thee wife; Or otherwise, thou never can'st in life, Conceive the lengths a woman oft will go, Whose breast is filled with wrath and secret woe. A mortal was allowed these charms to view, Which others' eyes could never dare pursue. Such treasures were for gods, or rather kings The privilege of both are beauteous things. THESE thoughts induced the queen revenge to seek; Rage moved her breast, and shame possessed her cheek. E'en Cupid, we are told, assistance gave; What from his aim effectually can save? Fair in person was Gyges to behold; Excuses for her easy 'twere to mould; To show her charms, what baseness could excel? And on th' exposer all her hatred fell. Besides, he was a husband, which is worse With these each sin receives a double curse. What more shall I detail?--the facts are plain: Detested was the king:--beloved the swain; All was accomplished, and the monarch placed Among the heroes who with horns are graced; No doubt a dignity not much desired, Though in repute, and easily acquired. SUCH merit had the prince's folly got, 'In petto', Vulcan's brother was his lot; The distance thence is little to the HAT: The honour much the same of this or that. SO far 'twas passing well, but, in the intrigue; The cruel Parcae now appeared to league; And soon the lovers, on possession bent, To black Cocytus' shores the monarch sent; Too much of certain potions forced to drink, He quickly viewed the dreary, horrid brink; While pleasing the objects Gyges' eyes beheld; And in the palace presently he dwelled, For, whether love or rage the widow fired, Her throne and hand she gave, as was required. T' EXTEND this tale was never my design; Though known full well, I do not now repine; The case so thoroughly my purpose served. Ne'er from the narrative the object swerved; And scarcely can I fancy, better light The DOCTOR will afford to what I write. The scenes that follow I from Rome have drawn; Not Rome of old, ere manners had their dawn, When customs were unpleasant and severe The females, silly, and gallants in fear; But Rome of modern days, delightful spot! Where better tastes have into fashion got, And pleasure solely occupies the mind To rapture ev'ry bosom seems resigned. A tempting journey truly it appears, For youths from twenty on to thirty years. NOT long ago, then, in the city dwelled, A master, who in teaching law excelled; In other matters he, howe'er, was thought A man that jollity and laughter sought. He criticised whatever passed around, And oft, at others' cost, diversion found. IT happened that our learned doctor had, Among his many pupils (good and bad) A Frenchman, less designed to study laws, Than, in amours, perhaps, to gain applause. One day, observing him with clouded mien, My friend, said he, you surely have the spleen, And, out of college, nothing seem to do; No law books read:--some object I'd pursue; A handsome Frenchman should his hours improve; Seek soft intrigues, or as a lover move; Talents you have, and gay coquettes are here Not one, thank heav'n, but numbers oft appear. THE, student answered, I am new at Rome, And, save the belles who sell their beauteous bloom, I can't perceive, gallants much business find, Each house, like monasteries, is designed, With double doors, and bolts, and matrons sour, And husbands Argus-eyed, who'd you devour. Where can I go to follow up your plan, And hope, in spots like these, a flame to fan? 'Twere not less difficult to reach the moon, And with my teeth I'd bite it just as soon. HA! HA! replied the doctor with delight, The honour which you do us is not slight; I pity men quite fresh and raw like you; Our town, I see, you've hardly travelled through, You fancy then, such wily snares are set, 'Tis difficult intrigues in Rome to get. I'd have you know, we've creatures who devise, To horn their husbands under Argus' eyes. 'Tis very common; only try around, And soon you'll find, that sly amours abound. Within the neighb'ring church go take your place, And, to the dames who pass in search of grace, Present your fingers dipt in water blessed:-- A sign for those who wish to be caressed. In case the suppliant's air some lady please, Who knows her trade, and how to act at ease, She'll send a message, something to desire: You'll soon be found, wherever you retire, Though lodged so secretly, that God alone, Till then, your place of residence had known. An aged female will on you attend, Who, used to this, will full assistance lend, Arrange an interview with wily art; No trouble take, you'll have an easy part; No trouble did I say? why, that's too much; Some things I would except, their pow'r is such; And proper 'tis, my friend, that I should hint, Attentions you at Rome should well imprint, And be discrete; in France you favours boast: Of ev'ry moment here you make the most; The Romans to the greatest lengths proceed. So best, the spark replied, I like the deed; And, though no Gascon, I may boldly say; Superior prowess always I display. Perhaps 'twas otherwise, for ev'ry wight; In this, to play the Gascon, thinks it right. To all the doctor's words our youth adhered, And presently within a church appeared, Where daily came the choicest belles around, And loves and graces in their train were found, Or, if 'tis wished in modern phrase to speak, Attention num'rous angels there would seek. Beneath their veils were beauteous sparkling eyes; The holy-water scarcely would suffice. IN lucky spot the spark his station took, And gave to each that passed a plaintive look; To some he bowed; to others seemed to pray, And holy water offered on their way. One angel 'mong the rest the boon received, With easy pleasing air, that much relieved; On which the student to himself expressed, A fond belief, with her he might be blessed. WHEN home, an aged female to him came, And soon a meeting place he heard her name. To count particulars howe'er were vain Their pranks were many, and their folly plain; The belle was handsome; ev'ry bliss was sought, And all their moments most delightful thought. HE, to the doctor, ev'ry matter told Discretion in a Frenchman would be cold; 'Tis out of nature, and bespeaks the cit; Smells strong of shop, and would not fashion fit. THE learned teacher satisfaction showed, That such success from his instructions flowed, Laughed heartily at husbands, silly wights, Who had not wit to guard connubial rights, And from their lamb the wily wolf to keep: A shepherd will o'erlook a hundred sheep, While foolish man's unable to protect, E'en one where most he'd wish to be correct. Howe'er, this care he thought was somewhat hard, But not a thing impossible to guard; And if he had not got a hundred eyes, Thank heav'n, his wife, though cunning to devise, He could defy:--her thoughts so well he knew, That these intrigues she never would pursue. YOU'LL, ne'er believe, good reader, without shame, The doctor's wife was she our annals name; And what's still worse, so many things he asked, Her look, air, form, and secret charms unmasked, That ev'ry answer fully seemed to say, 'Twas clearly she, who thus had gone astray. One circumstance the lawyer led to doubt: Some talents had the student pointed out, Which she had never to her husband shown, And this relief administered alone. Thought he, those manners not to her belong, But all the rest are indications strong, And prove the case; yet she at home is dull; While this appears to be a prattling trull, And pleasing in her conversation too; In other matters 'tis my wife we view, Form, face, complexion, features, eyes, and hair, The whole combined pronounces her the fair. AT length, when to himself the sage had said 'Tis she; and then, 'tis not;--his senses led To make him in the first opinion rest, You well may guess what rage was in his breast. A second meeting you have fixed? cried he; Yes, said the Frenchman, that was made with glee; We found the first so pleasing to our mind, That to another both were well inclined, And thoroughly resolved more fun to seek. That's right, replied the doctor, have your freak; The lady howsoe'er I now could name. The scholar answered, that to me's the same; I care not what she's called, Nor who she be: 'Tis quite enough that we so well agree. By this time I'm convinced her loving spouse. Possesses what an anchorite might rouse; And if a failure any where be met, At such a place to-morrow one may get, What I shall hope, exactly at the hour, To find resigned and fully in my pow'r: IN bed I shall be instantly received, And from anxiety be soon relieved. The place of meeting is a room below, Most nicely furnished, rich, but void of show. At first I through a passage dark was led, Where Sol's bright rays are ne'er allowed to spread; But soon, by my conductress, I was brought, 'Mid LOVE'S delights, where all with charms was frought. ON this you may suppose the doctor's pain; But presently he thought a point to gain, And take the student's place by wily art, Where, acting in disguise the lover's part, His rib he might entangle in a net, And vassalage bestow she'd ne'er forget. Our learned man was clearly in the wrong; 'Twere better far to sleep and hold his tongue; Unless, with God's assistance, he could raise A remedy that merited full praise. Whenever wives have got a candidate, To be admitted to the Cuckold's state, If thence he get scot free 'tis luck indeed; But once received, and ornaments decreed, A blot the more will surely nothing add, To one already in the garment clad. The doctor otherwise however thought; Yet still his reason no advantage brought; Indeed he fancied, if he could forestall The youth who now he might his master call; The trick would to his wisdom credit do, And show, superior wiles he could pursue. AWAY the husband hastened to the place; In full belief, that, hiding well his face, And favoured by the darkness of the spot, The silence marked, and myst'ry of the plot, He, undiscovered, safely might be led, Where such delicious fruits were ready spread. MISFORTUNE, howsoe'er, would so direct The aged female nothing to neglect, Had with her got a lantern to conduct, The light from which at will she could obstruct, And, far more cunning than our learned sage, Perceived at once with whom she had t'engage; But, marking no surprise, she bade him wait, While she, his coming, to her dame should state. Said she, unless I tell her first you're here, I dare not let you in her room appear. Besides, you have not got the right attire; Undressed, in truth, is what she would desire. My lady, you must know, is gone to bed:-- Then, thrusting in a dressing room his head, He there beheld the necessary fare, Of night-cap, slippers, shirt, and combs for hair, With perfumes too, in Rome the nicest known, And fit for highest cardinals to own. His clothes the learned doctor laid aside; The aged female came his steps to guide; Through passages she led him by the hand, Where all was dark, and many turnings planned; At once bewildered, and deprived of sight, The lawyer tottered much for want of light. At length she ope'd a door, and pushed the sage, Where most unpleasantly he must engage, Though doubtless ev'ry way his proper place:-- The school where he was used the LAWS to trace! O'ercome with shame, confusion, and surprise, He nearly fainted, vain 'twere to disguise. THE circumstances ran throughout the town; Each student then was waiting in his gown; Enough, no doubt, his fortunes to destroy; The laugh went round, and all was jest and joy. What, is he mad? said they, or would he seek Some lass, and with her wish to have a freak? Still worse arrived:--his beauteous spouse complained; A trial followed, and distractions reigned; Her relatives supported well the cause, And represented, that the MAN of LAWS, Occasioned jars and matrimonial strife; That he was mad, and she, a prudent wife, The marriage was annulled, and she withdrew: Retirement now the lady would pursue, In Vavoureuse a prelate blessed the dame, And, at Saint Croissant, she a nun became. ETEXT EDITOR'S BOOKMARKS: No pleasure's free from care you may rely *** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK TALES AND NOVELS OF FONTAINE, V19 *** *********** This file should be named lf19w10.txt or lf19w10.zip *********** Corrected EDITIONS of our eBooks get a new NUMBER, lf19w11.txt VERSIONS based on separate sources get new LETTER, lf19w10a.txt This eBook was produced by David Widger Project Gutenberg eBooks are often created from several printed editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the US unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we usually do not keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition. We are now trying to release all our eBooks one year in advance of the official release dates, leaving time for better editing. Please be encouraged to tell us about any error or corrections, even years after the official publication date. Please note neither this listing nor its contents are final til midnight of the last day of the month of any such announcement. The official release date of all Project Gutenberg eBooks is at Midnight, Central Time, of the last day of the stated month. A preliminary version may often be posted for suggestion, comment and editing by those who wish to do so. Most people start at our Web sites at: http://gutenberg.net or http://promo.net/pg These Web sites include award-winning information about Project Gutenberg, including how to donate, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to subscribe to our email newsletter (free!). Those of you who want to download any eBook before announcement can get to them as follows, and just download by date. This is also a good way to get them instantly upon announcement, as the indexes our cataloguers produce obviously take a while after an announcement goes out in the Project Gutenberg Newsletter. http://www.ibiblio.org/gutenberg/etext03 or ftp://ftp.ibiblio.org/pub/docs/books/gutenberg/etext03 Or /etext02, 01, 00, 99, 98, 97, 96, 95, 94, 93, 92, 92, 91 or 90 Just search by the first five letters of the filename you want, as it appears in our Newsletters. Information about Project Gutenberg (one page) We produce about two million dollars for each hour we work. The time it takes us, a rather conservative estimate, is fifty hours to get any eBook selected, entered, proofread, edited, copyright searched and analyzed, the copyright letters written, etc. Our projected audience is one hundred million readers. If the value per text is nominally estimated at one dollar then we produce $2 million dollars per hour in 2002 as we release over 100 new text files per month: 1240 more eBooks in 2001 for a total of 4000+ We are already on our way to trying for 2000 more eBooks in 2002 If they reach just 1-2% of the world's population then the total will reach over half a trillion eBooks given away by year's end. The Goal of Project Gutenberg is to Give Away 1 Trillion eBooks! This is ten thousand titles each to one hundred million readers, which is only about 4% of the present number of computer users. Here is the briefest record of our progress (* means estimated): eBooks Year Month 1 1971 July 10 1991 January 100 1994 January 1000 1997 August 1500 1998 October 2000 1999 December 2500 2000 December 3000 2001 November 4000 2001 October/November 6000 2002 December* 9000 2003 November* 10000 2004 January* The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation has been created to secure a future for Project Gutenberg into the next millennium. We need your donations more than ever! As of February, 2002, contributions are being solicited from people and organizations in: Alabama, Alaska, Arkansas, Connecticut, Delaware, District of Columbia, Florida, Georgia, Hawaii, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maine, Massachusetts, Michigan, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, Nebraska, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, North Carolina, Ohio, Oklahoma, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Vermont, Virginia, Washington, West Virginia, Wisconsin, and Wyoming. We have filed in all 50 states now, but these are the only ones that have responded. As the requirements for other states are met, additions to this list will be made and fund raising will begin in the additional states. Please feel free to ask to check the status of your state. In answer to various questions we have received on this: We are constantly working on finishing the paperwork to legally request donations in all 50 states. If your state is not listed and you would like to know if we have added it since the list you have, just ask. While we cannot solicit donations from people in states where we are not yet registered, we know of no prohibition against accepting donations from donors in these states who approach us with an offer to donate. International donations are accepted, but we don't know ANYTHING about how to make them tax-deductible, or even if they CAN be made deductible, and don't have the staff to handle it even if there are ways. Donations by check or money order may be sent to: Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation PMB 113 1739 University Ave. Oxford, MS 38655-4109 Contact us if you want to arrange for a wire transfer or payment method other than by check or money order. The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation has been approved by the US Internal Revenue Service as a 501(c)(3) organization with EIN [Employee Identification Number] 64-622154. Donations are tax-deductible to the maximum extent permitted by law. As fund-raising requirements for other states are met, additions to this list will be made and fund-raising will begin in the additional states. We need your donations more than ever! You can get up to date donation information online at: http://www.gutenberg.net/donation.html *** If you can't reach Project Gutenberg, you can always email directly to: Michael S. Hart Prof. Hart will answer or forward your message. We would prefer to send you information by email. **The Legal Small Print** (Three Pages) ***START**THE SMALL PRINT!**FOR PUBLIC DOMAIN EBOOKS**START*** Why is this "Small Print!" statement here? You know: lawyers. They tell us you might sue us if there is something wrong with your copy of this eBook, even if you got it for free from someone other than us, and even if what's wrong is not our fault. So, among other things, this "Small Print!" statement disclaims most of our liability to you. It also tells you how you may distribute copies of this eBook if you want to. *BEFORE!* YOU USE OR READ THIS EBOOK By using or reading any part of this PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm eBook, you indicate that you understand, agree to and accept this "Small Print!" statement. If you do not, you can receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for this eBook by sending a request within 30 days of receiving it to the person you got it from. If you received this eBook on a physical medium (such as a disk), you must return it with your request. ABOUT PROJECT GUTENBERG-TM EBOOKS This PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm eBook, like most PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm eBooks, is a "public domain" work distributed by Professor Michael S. Hart through the Project Gutenberg Association (the "Project"). Among other things, this means that no one owns a United States copyright on or for this work, so the Project (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, set forth below, apply if you wish to copy and distribute this eBook under the "PROJECT GUTENBERG" trademark. Please do not use the "PROJECT GUTENBERG" trademark to market any commercial products without permission. To create these eBooks, the Project expends considerable efforts to identify, transcribe and proofread public domain works. Despite these efforts, the Project's eBooks and any medium they may be on may contain "Defects". Among other things, Defects may take the form of incomplete, inaccurate or corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other intellectual property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other eBook medium, a computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by your equipment. LIMITED WARRANTY; DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES But for the "Right of Replacement or Refund" described below, [1] Michael Hart and the Foundation (and any other party you may receive this eBook from as a PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm eBook) disclaims all liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal fees, and [2] YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE OR UNDER STRICT LIABILITY, OR FOR BREACH OF WARRANTY OR CONTRACT, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR INCIDENTAL DAMAGES, EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH DAMAGES. If you discover a Defect in this eBook within 90 days of receiving it, you can receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending an explanatory note within that time to the person you received it from. If you received it on a physical medium, you must return it with your note, and such person may choose to alternatively give you a replacement copy. If you received it electronically, such person may choose to alternatively give you a second opportunity to receive it electronically. THIS EBOOK IS OTHERWISE PROVIDED TO YOU "AS-IS". NO OTHER WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, ARE MADE TO YOU AS TO THE EBOOK OR ANY MEDIUM IT MAY BE ON, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY OR FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE. Some states do not allow disclaimers of implied warranties or the exclusion or limitation of consequential damages, so the above disclaimers and exclusions may not apply to you, and you may have other legal rights. INDEMNITY You will indemnify and hold Michael Hart, the Foundation, and its trustees and agents, and any volunteers associated with the production and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm texts harmless, from all liability, cost and expense, including legal fees, that arise directly or indirectly from any of the following that you do or cause: [1] distribution of this eBook, [2] alteration, modification, or addition to the eBook, or [3] any Defect. DISTRIBUTION UNDER "PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm" You may distribute copies of this eBook electronically, or by disk, book or any other medium if you either delete this "Small Print!" and all other references to Project Gutenberg, or: [1] Only give exact copies of it. Among other things, this requires that you do not remove, alter or modify the eBook or this "small print!" statement. You may however, if you wish, distribute this eBook in machine readable binary, compressed, mark-up, or proprietary form, including any form resulting from conversion by word processing or hypertext software, but only so long as *EITHER*: [*] The eBook, when displayed, is clearly readable, and does *not* contain characters other than those intended by the author of the work, although tilde (~), asterisk (*) and underline (_) characters may be used to convey punctuation intended by the author, and additional characters may be used to indicate hypertext links; OR [*] The eBook may be readily converted by the reader at no expense into plain ASCII, EBCDIC or equivalent form by the program that displays the eBook (as is the case, for instance, with most word processors); OR [*] You provide, or agree to also provide on request at no additional cost, fee or expense, a copy of the eBook in its original plain ASCII form (or in EBCDIC or other equivalent proprietary form). [2] Honor the eBook refund and replacement provisions of this "Small Print!" statement. [3] Pay a trademark license fee to the Foundation of 20% of the gross profits you derive calculated using the method you already use to calculate your applicable taxes. If you don't derive profits, no royalty is due. Royalties are payable to "Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation" the 60 days following each date you prepare (or were legally required to prepare) your annual (or equivalent periodic) tax return. Please contact us beforehand to let us know your plans and to work out the details. WHAT IF YOU *WANT* TO SEND MONEY EVEN IF YOU DON'T HAVE TO? Project Gutenberg is dedicated to increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be freely distributed in machine readable form. The Project gratefully accepts contributions of money, time, public domain materials, or royalty free copyright licenses. Money should be paid to the: "Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation." If you are interested in contributing scanning equipment or software or other items, please contact Michael Hart at: hart@pobox.com [Portions of this eBook's header and trailer may be reprinted only when distributed free of all fees. Copyright (C) 2001, 2002 by Michael S. Hart. Project Gutenberg is a TradeMark and may not be used in any sales of Project Gutenberg eBooks or other materials be they hardware or software or any other related product without express permission.] *END THE SMALL PRINT! FOR PUBLIC DOMAIN EBOOKS*Ver.02/11/02*END*